Mustang Ranch Resort

"Off Topic" => Way Off Topic => Topic started by: Velvet on February 11, 2020, 11:43:32 AM

Title: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Velvet on February 11, 2020, 11:43:32 AM
Lightbulb jokes & Dad jokes... it's been the theme around here this week.

My favorite ones I've heard so far are:

How many Flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2, but no one knows how they got in there.

How did the hipster burn his hand?
He changed the lightbulb before it was cool.

ok.... know any good ones?
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Michael j. on February 12, 2020, 05:12:09 AM
A physics major looks at a piece of machinery and asks, "Why does it run?"  The engineering major looks at it and asks, "How does it run?"  The English Lit major says, "You want fries with that?"
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: SixT9er on February 12, 2020, 05:37:46 AM
Do you know how many Grammar Natzi's it takes to screw in a lightbulb?

Too
Silly me I thought it was to...

(Dad joke! Lol)
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: johann on February 12, 2020, 09:34:08 AM
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Three: one to actually screw it in, and another two to share the experience.


How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Five: one to actually screw it in, and four to fend off all the Californians trying to get close to share the experience.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Michael j. on February 13, 2020, 05:26:10 AM
Q:  What's the difference between a pig and a fox?  A:  Usually five or six beers.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Prospector Bob on February 13, 2020, 03:45:26 PM
A man goes to the drug store to buy some condoms, the clerk asks, "Do you want a bag?"

The man says, "No, she's not that ugly!"

Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Velvet on February 16, 2020, 11:00:37 AM
These are amazing!
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Velvet on February 16, 2020, 11:01:33 AM
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One; she holds the bulb and the whole world revolves around her.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Prospector Bob on February 21, 2020, 11:04:21 AM
How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb? 

Two: One to screw in the light bulb & one to make the You Tube video.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: SixT9er on February 21, 2020, 01:04:03 PM
How do you make a moron dizzy?

Put him in a round room & tell him to pee in the corner
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Michael j. on February 22, 2020, 05:07:56 AM
Why don't witches wear panties?  To get a better grip on the broom.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Duck11 on February 22, 2020, 06:00:59 PM
I saw a horse driving a sports car the other day!

It was a mustang
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Velvet on March 12, 2020, 11:20:09 AM
I saw a horse driving a sports car the other day!

It was a mustang

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Michael j. on March 13, 2020, 05:37:31 AM
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they don't have any balls to scratch.
Title: Re: Lightbulb Jokes... Dad jokes....
Post by: Velvet on March 13, 2020, 12:33:19 PM
(https://thumbs2.imgbox.com/de/30/KQSvhaSU_t.png)