Secretary v/s Fifty Shades

[Maya]

I read a great aritcle on Sundance & it's worth sharing.

As Domme I will always pick the Secretary over 50Shades.....mainly because 50 Shades gives its readers the wrong concept of what TRUE BDSM really is.

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Enjoy the article




You've got to give the Fifty Shades of Grey books credit. The erotic trilogy by E.L. James has single-handedly made BDSM mainstream (now everyone knows what a safe word is), been a boon to the sex toy industry (hello, love beads!), and improved the sex lives of many a long-married couple (a chapter a day will keep the couple's therapist away!). But that doesn't mean the series is without its faults, or that there aren't better depictions of BDSM relationships in popular culture—or at the very least, one better depiction. The 2002 indie film Secretary blows Fifty out of the water, if you ask us. Here's why.

1. E. Edward Grey Was Here First
Grey is also the name of the dominant boss played by James Spader in Secretary. Almost ten years later, E.L. James names her dominant lover Christian Grey. Perhaps it was an homage.

2. It's An Award Winner
Fifty may be a record breaker (it's the fastest-selling paperback of all time) and a crazy moneymaker (E.L. James's net worth is a cool $15 mil), but it's never going to win any literary awards. Secretary was nominated for a Golden Globe (best actress in a musical or comedy) and three Chlotrudis Awards (best actor, actress and adapted screenplay), among others; and it won an Independent Spirit Award (best first screenplay) and a Gotham Award (breakthrough performance, Maggie Gyllenhaal).

3. More Likeable Protagonist
With every "Oh my" and countless "holy shit" provoked by the whims of her controlling stalker boyfriend, Ana Steele can get a little cloying. Without any magical qualities (like a scent, only detectable to vampires, that makes them swoon), Ana just isn't convincing as The One to turn a control freak (in and out of the bedroom) into the marrying kind overnight. The flaws of Lee Holloway, on the other hand, are not only believable, but relatable (to a certain extent), and make her a sympathetic character. Plus, it's really hard not to like Maggie Gyllenhaal.

4. More Believable Love Interest
A 27-year-old gazillionaire with impossible abs (and ne'er a single crunch to be found in all three books), a million employees, a sailing certification and a pilot's license falls head-over-heels in love with a naive, dorky virgin utterly devoid of charm and can give her her first orgasm ever from nipple play alone? Yeah, right. Much more realistic is the socially awkward, emotionally sensitive Lee and her creepy-seeming and ultimately conflicted love interest—both of whom are pretty normal looking. Plus, this Grey actually does do sit-ups.

5. No Gratuitous Product Placement
Fifty Shades is a marketing agent's wet dream: Apple, Audi, Blackberry, Converse, Louboutins, Neiman Marcus, Twinings ... we could go on (E.L. James sure does). It's the most shameless thing about the books! (And these brand names aren't dropped in a knowing, ironic way, a la Bret Easton Ellis. Nope, just lazy writing. Either that or E.L. James figured that these brand names would be comforting and homey and relatable amidst all those butt plugs and spreader bars.) The only brand we can recall from Secretary is Cosmopolitan magazine, and it's referenced in a characteristically cheeky way.

6. More Honorable Origins
Secretary was based on a short story by literary power house Mary Gaitskill. Fifty was based on online fan fiction, which was based on the Y.A. Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers.

7. A Sense of Humor
Erotica and romance, almost by definition, have to take themselves extremely seriously. The sex is earnest to keep up the fantasy. As an indie film, Secretary didn't have those restraints, and therefore could wade into the waters of black comedy. Can you imagine a scene in Fifty where Grey covers his desk in hay and has Ana kneel upon it on all fours with a carrot in her mouth and saddle on her back? Didn't think so. But that's the kind of scene that made Secretary awesome—and funny.

8. Better Writing
Actually, there is something kind of funny about Fifty—the writing! The repetition of phrases, the cultural anachronisms, the offensive overuse of adverbs, the misuse of the word "subconscious." If you didn't laugh you'd cry, because you'd be so sad about the fact that you couldn't put down something so poorly written. Secretary on the other hand, won an Independent Spirit Award for Best First Screenplay.

9. BDSM is Freeing
And not the other way around. In Fifty, Grey beats the shit out of women because he had a literal "crack whore" for a mom who didn't love him enough—it's an obsession that haunts him and that he feels great shame about. In Secretary, Lee is a troubled self-cutter, but it's the BDSM relationship that frees her. Production designer Amy Danger said of the story: "With this S&M material, we could go into a dark place... Steve [Shainberg, the director] and I wanted the total opposite: that the nature of this relationship freed [the characters] to be their natural selves."

10. Secretary Will Turn Out To Be The Better Movie

While we're confident the Fifty Shades of Grey movies will be better than the books, we're betting that history will prove Secretary the superior film. If all the money in the world couldn't make decent movies out of the uber-popular Twilight franchise, what hope is there for Fifty?


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Again, I haven't read the book, but the few pages I did read it was enough to have me rolling my eyes & thinking "Wow, now so many people will "think" they know what BDSM is & will end up hurting people instead of actually making BDSM enjoyable."

I'm still yet to meet a Professional Dom/Domme tht agreed or even enjoyed the book...which that alone should give you an idea of how poorly it was written.

I have several (Domme)friends that work at well known Adult/BDSM stores in LA. They have told me that before 50 shades only the experienced Dom, Dommes & Subs would buy wooden paddles for their play. After 50 Shades almost all the people interested in wooden paddles were novices & very new to the BDSM world(cringe!!).

Do yourself a favor.....dont buy/use the biggest, scariest toy for yourself or on anyone else unless you, them &/or both have experience. You can cause major pain & damage. Sometimes it can be permanent....so please be careful who you trust to play with you.


Instead of relying on a book that lacks knowledge regarding BDSM do your research. There is so many great books that will teach you everything you need to know about BDSM.
Also feel free to ask as many questions to me or any other professional Dom/Domme. If I dont know the answer I will use my resources or at least point you in the right direction. 



If you would like to vote on your preference click on the link:

http://www.sundance.tv/blog/2014/07/top-ten-reasons-secretary-beat-50-shades-of-grey

[CaliGuy]

That's a really great article, thanks for sharing!

I can absolutely see how misrepresentation of such a sensitive topic would be really frustrating to the people that actually practice what the book/movie claims to.

[Maya]

Thank You & You're Welcome

It can be frustrating....but the best way to deal with it is to educate people with the right information.


Btw, out of 7201 ppl that voted only 364 ppl have picked 50 Shades....prolly cause they haven't seen Secretary.

[Maya]

Good article Maya you are sure on the right track with the education. Sometimes it can get discouraging when there is so much wrong information put out about a subject that you are passionate about.

Thank You

I'll keep doing what I can to give people the correct info

[caveman]

I guess I'll try to find the Secretary. Loved the Love Ranch just wished it was longer! I remember seeing a movie called Young Lady chastity & her many Lovers. That was a long time ago. That will get you all hot & bothered.

[Maya]

I guess I'll try to find the Secretary. Loved the Love Ranch just wished it was longer! I remember seeing a movie called Young Lady chastity & her many Lovers. That was a long time ago. That will get you all hot & bothered.

Caveman....I agree the movie Love Ranch could of been longer n I would of watched from beginning to end.
Definitely check out Secretary

[SeattleSun]

50 Shades is the first "R" rated movie with it own promotional merchandise like Sponge Bob or Frozen.  Target started selling merchandise on Feb 2nd    lol

http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000354002


And based on advance ticket sales will be the highest grossing  "R" rated movie in history.


http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000354164


Can't help thing this is all good for Maya business case.

[Maya]

50 Shades is the first "R" rated movie with it own promotional merchandise like Sponge Bob or Frozen.  Target started selling merchandise on Feb 2nd    lol

http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000354002


And based on advance ticket sales will be the highest grossing  "R" rated movie in history.


http://video.cnbc.com/gallery/?video=3000354164


Can't help thing this is all good for Maya business case.

I actually went to see the movie on Thrs night...it sucked!!!


Thanks for sharing this info

I do hope that people interested in BDSM seek a professional instead of relying on this movie.

If sharing with people the right info gives me more business that would be a plus

[SeattleSun]

Seeing that movie with you would have been as bad as seeing "Apollo 13" with me.  As all I did the whole movie was point out the technical mistakes all through the movie to those with me.

And the movie did gross a record $60 million for the V-Day weekend.

SeattleSun
Rocket Scientist

I actually went to see the movie on Thrs night...it sucked!!!


Thanks for sharing this info

I do hope that people interested in BDSM seek a professional instead of relying on this movie.

If sharing with people the right info gives me more business that would be a plus

[Maya]

Hahahaaaaa!
Your post made me laugh cause you are so right. My friend kept telling me to be nice every time I laughed or cringed with the BDSM Scenes.

At the end of the movie my reaction was: "Are you fuckin' kidding me?!!"
My friend told me I would have to watch the other two movies which I laughed n said: No effin way!!

I knew the movie would do so well since so many ppl refused to read the book.
That is why I went because 2hrs of my life was all I could waste on that story(& that was 2hrs too much).


SeattleSun....now I want to watch Apollo 13 with you...hahaaaa!