News:

SMF - Just Installed!

Main Menu

Santa Tom is getting his list together

Started by Just Tom, Aug 16, 2017, 04:19 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Just Tom

and he knows he has to start early.... next week we start training the burros that replaced the reindeer, so if you ladies have any thing you want Santa Tom to try and get, you better chime in
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

shooter

The family jewels should be handled by professionals not drunken amateurs.

Just Tom

Quote from: shooter on Aug 16, 2017, 04:41 AM
I do not want your NUTS!

no nuts for you then, but then i know you like things that come in square bottles with red stuff on top that gurgle when you shake them
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

Madam Tara

you are the BEST Santa ever and the sweetest!
thank you for all your do for all of us here at the Mustang we can't wait to see ya :)
XOXO Madam Tara
Madam Tara XO

Just Tom

well no one ever said the holiday season was gonna be great... we've already had our first casualty among the 28 burro team, Sigmund, the the mid off wheel burro, was injured in a training accident yesterday   :'(

luckily, it appears to be just a sprain, and really spectacular scrape, but he won't be training for few days to a week now... and he whines so much i am tempted to shoot him !

on the goodies front, i haven't gotten any requests from the Ladies at all, WTH?
only requests the security guys and groundskeepers (and i am working on their requests) ... so the unmarked and unaddressed gifts might be coming from 'the island of unwanted stuff' again, i recently uncovered a cache of that stuff,   
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

shooter

I have been trying to remember all the names of you burro team.  You mentioned Sigmund, but there are 27 others.  Like Jack Shit, Gives a shit, Knows shit, Big shit, Little shit, Holy shit, Oh shit, Who shit, Whoa shit, and I gotta. The Native burros Running shit and Eagle shit.  Then there are the Russian burros Ivan and Yban Jackenoff. 

Of course there are Bashy, Patrica, Guy, Cookie, Sporty, Shitter, Voy, BI, Flypaper, Side Stepper, Bear, ol'69, and Rugged.

What ever happened to the 29th burro that lead the team Bruce with the glowing read ass?  Did he finally take the team on one too many outings?
The family jewels should be handled by professionals not drunken amateurs.

Just Tom

Bruce got pinched by the Des Moines Iowa vice squad trying to get the 'donkey show' in the local strip joint.  The bugger was such a flamin' pain in the ass, and such a 'flamer', that i decided a few months in the pokey would do him some good, now i will never get his ass out of jail.  so i am in the market for a new lead burro.

Is anyone but me and Shooter reading this?
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

Whitney

I always behave, just not necessarily well💋👄

shooter

That Claus guy up North has a reindeer with a shiny red nose, maybe you could borrow him for a day or two. Unless you have to have him on December 24th. 

In answer to you question, it doesn't look like it
The family jewels should be handled by professionals not drunken amateurs.

Prospector Bob

Quote from: Just Tom on Sep 22, 2017, 03:24 AM
Bruce got pinched by the Des Moines Iowa vice squad trying to get the 'donkey show' in the local strip joint.  The bugger was such a flamin' pain in the ass, and such a 'flamer', that i decided a few months in the pokey would do him some good, now i will never get his ass out of jail.  so i am in the market for a new lead burro.

Is anyone but me and Shooter reading this?

There's this old donkey with a big red nose in Juarez that might be who you're looking for. His name is Pedro Nodo Rojo. He's a little long in the tooth and he's a lush for tequila - hence the big red nose. They say his nose is so bright you can see him comin' around a corner of a building before he gets there. He's a retiree from the "Donkey Show" circuit & could use the job. Tequila doesn't come free...

The trick is growing up without growing old. -- Casey Stengal

Just Tom

PB, please send me his contact info, although his affection for tequila may make flying over certain bars difficult  :-\ i will probably still call him in for an interview.....the only answers i have gotten from my Indeed ad for a flight leader have been Wrongway Corrigan and an ex-Uber driver who was fired for always taking the absolute longest route he could find to deliver his passenger to the corner store.

as to the list of gifts, well, i got only one more wish this last weekend, so i am starting to think that there is going to be a lot of old socks with a charcoal briquette in them, wrapped up in brown paper are going to appear under the tree
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

Prospector Bob

The last time I saw Pedro was 20+ years ago so when I had a work related trip to El Paso. My neighbor across the street saw him in Juarez last year when he went down there visit his family. He said Pedro was looking kinda rough. He hasn't done well in retirement, apparently. I'll still see if my neighbor can put out the word I'm looking for him.
The trick is growing up without growing old. -- Casey Stengal

Just Tom

found a new lead donkey, finally!  the new lead ass is Shirley.... during the interview process her brother Agamemnon was a strong candidate, but he had too much of god complex...  ::)

during a recent much needed, but way too short, visit i got the headcount of goodies for the staff, thanks Tara, but only one more wish from a Lady, you wish is my command  sweet Lydia... just so long as you don't use it on me....
if you can't laugh at yourself, you don't deserve to laugh at anyone else

Prospector Bob

Glad you found a new lead donkey. Looks like Pedro gonna be laid up awhile anyway. An hombre down in Juarez who owns race horses bought Pedro but didn't know his background as a horn-dog. Pedro tried to mate with one of his thoroughbred mares & she kicked the snot out of him. Pedro now has another new owner... the veterinarian nursing him back to health.



The trick is growing up without growing old. -- Casey Stengal

Alexia

Santa Tom! I've missed you. Where have you bee? Hopefully I'll get to sit on Santa Tom's lap before Christmas and he can tell me if I've been good or naughty 😈😈😈😍😍😍