Joke

[tobyg3]

Reminds me of the time Superman tripped and fell on his "S".

[Michael j.]

 What's the difference between a rooster and a lawyer?  The rooster clucks defiance and the lawyer.....see if you can figure it out.

[firefighter]

"Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere." ~ Groucho Marx

[Michael j.]

Q:  How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?  A: When his right hand caught fire.

[firefighter]

Joke of the Day

A doctor informed family members, "The only lifesaving alternative for your loved one is a brain transplant. It's a very risky experimental procedure, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the operation, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, "How much will a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain and $200 for a Republican's brain."

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats in the family actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republican family members. A relative unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?"

The doctor smiled at the question and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard market pricing. Republicans' brains are less expensive because they've been used."

[Cobia]

Joke of the Day

A doctor informed family members, "The only lifesaving alternative for your loved one is a brain transplant. It's a very risky experimental procedure, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the operation, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, "How much will a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain and $200 for a Republican's brain."

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats in the family actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republican family members. A relative unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?"

The doctor smiled at the question and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard market pricing. Republicans' brains are less expensive because they've been used."

[firefighter]

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? ~ Groucho Marx

Women should be obscene and not heard. ~ Groucho Marx

[firefighter]

Only 90% of women admit that they like cunnilingus oral sex; however, the denying 10% are liars!

[Michael j.]

 Q: Why did Snow White get kicked out of the Disney toy box?  A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and saying "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

[firefighter]

Monica Lewinsky's love handles

After a relaxing bath, Monica Lewinsky was looking at herself naked in a mirror. She remembered her younger days with Bill Clinton, and thought about the way she looked at that time.

Monica's frustration over her inability to lose weight was depressing. In an act of desperation, she decided to call on GOD for help. "GOD, if you take away my love handles, I'll devote my life to You," she prayed!

And just like that, poof, her ears fell off!

I just love a happy ending!

[naughtytatyana]

Guy walks into an antique store and asks, "What's new?"

[Lancelot Link]

Guy walks into an antique store and asks, "What's new?"

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre.

The bartender gave it to her.

[Phoenix]

  

[Tennessee25]

Guy walks into an antique store and asks, "What's new?"

I store owner explains to a blind man, why he can't bring his dog in the store.  He replies oh, I see

[Michael j.]

Q:  What's the difference between a golf ball and a woman's g spot?  A:  A man will spend twenty minutes looking for a golf ball.