Joke

[caveman]

 

[Cobia]

 

[Michael j.]

This Russian guy is on his annual Black Sea holiday.  While strolling along the beach, he finds a genie lamp and rubs it.  The genie comes out and says, "You have one wish, and one wish only.  Think carefully."  The man replies, "I should like to be able to piss vodka."  The genie nods his head and says "consider it done."  The man goes home, and one night he gets two glasses out of the cupboard and calls to his wife,"Olga my dear, come! We drink vodka" and they drink the night away.  A few days later the man gets out two glasses and calls out, "Olga, my dear, come! we drink vodka."  And they party till sunrise.  Another night the man gets out one glass and says "Olga, my dear, come! we drink vodka!"  His wife says, "Sergei, my dear, of course, but why one glass?"  Slyly he replies,  "Tonight, my dear, you drink from the bottle." 

[tobyg3]

"Tonight, my dear, you drink from the bottle."

So that's what it takes! Lesson learned. Thanks Michael J.

[caveman]

Good thing she only wanted vodka. If she wanted brandy he would have had to put in another spickit!!! Than he could have two lines!!! He should have made his one wish that He could get a million wishes granted!!!!

[firefighter]

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless!

[caveman]

!00% agree with that!!!

[firefighter]

Short sighted...

A furious husband walked into a crowded bar, waving his model 1911 45 ACP pistol with an 8 round magazine, and yelled, "Who in here has been sleeping with my wife?"

A voice from the back of the bar yelled back, "You need more ammo!"

[Michael j.]

A man is at a cocktail party when who walks in but his ex-wife's new husband.  He walks over and sneers, "So what's it like dealing with second hand goods?"  The new husband shrugs and replies, "Pretty good.  Once I got past the first three inches, the rest was brand new!"

[caveman]

 

[caveman]

Two truck drivers were visting nagra fall. The one said to the other. I slept with my wife before we got married did you. The other trucker said I don't know what's her name.

[Phoenix]

 

[firefighter]

Subject: Marathon Sex

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.

One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired."

His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. I just don't know what to do."

A fellow about my age (66), sitting a couple of stools down had also over-heard the conversation. He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says, "Marry her; that'll put a stop to that shit!"

[Cobia]

Subject: Marathon Sex

I couldn't help but over-hear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at a bar.

One of the guys says to his buddy, "Man you look tired."

His buddy says, "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. I just don't know what to do."

A fellow about my age (66), sitting a couple of stools down had also over-heard the conversation. He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says, "Marry her; that'll put a stop to that shit!"

       EXACTLY !!

[Just Tom]

shamelessly lifted from somewhere else

One day a little Indian boy walked up to his father the chief and said "I'm ready for a women." The chief said "Before you can have a real women, you must go into the woods and practice on the trees for three days" The Indian boy said "Ok," and went off into the woods. Three days later, he returns and says "I'm ready for women." The Indian cheif says "Pick out any woman you want and take her inside the teepee." The boy picked a women, escorted her into the teepee and said "Take off all your clothes, bend over and grab your ankles." The women asked "Why?", but the boy told her to just to bend over. The women bent over, and the boy kicked her in the ass. "Why the hell did you do that?" she asked. "Just checking for bees." replied the boy.