Author Topic: Joke  (Read 4037 times)

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Michael j.

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Re: Joke
« Reply #12 on: September 01, 2016, 04:28:09 AM »
A man has been marooned on a desert island for ten years.  One day he's standing at water's edge as usual, watching for a passing ship.  Then something starts splashing  out of the surf, and a diver in full scuba gear appears.  The mask and hood come off, and it's an absolutely gorgeous woman.  "How long since you've had a smoke?" she asks. The man replies, "Oh, man, it's been ten years!"  The woman unzips a side pocket and hands him a pack of smokes and a lighter.  The man takes a long drag and says, "Oh, man, that feels so good!"  The woman says, "How long since you've had a drink?"  She opens another pocket, takes out a  flask, and hands it to him.  Taking a long pull, he says, "Oh, man, that tastes so good!"  The gal then unzips the front of her wetsuit and asks, "How long since you've played around?"  The man exclaims, "Now, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there!"
Michael J.

John N Ga

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Re: Joke
« Reply #11 on: August 31, 2016, 10:40:22 AM »
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, ''Hey, could you go walk the dog?''

MrEd73

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Re: Joke
« Reply #10 on: August 30, 2016, 12:07:42 PM »
Q:  What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?

A:  Between you and me we could make a lot of money!

Upvote for that
Just roll with it.

John N Ga

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Re: Joke
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2016, 10:34:37 AM »
 Q:  What did one of the blonde's legs say to the other one?

A:  Between you and me we could make a lot of money!

John N Ga

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Re: Joke
« Reply #8 on: August 29, 2016, 09:42:02 AM »
A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past. The blonde looked a the doctor, smiled seductively, and murmured in a very sexy voice, "Hi there handsome. How ya doing?" She then wiggled her backside and walked off. "Who was that?" demanded the doctor's wife."Er- just a woman I met professionally." stammered the doctor. "Oh yeah?" his wife snarled. "In whose profession? Yours or hers?"

Michael j.

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Re: Joke
« Reply #7 on: August 29, 2016, 04:29:05 AM »
  Some people are gathered in church one Sunday, waiting for services to start.  Suddenly there's an explosion of fire and smoke at the front of the church, and the devil appears.  Everyone panics and stampedes out of the church except for one old man sitting in the front pew.  The devil walks over to the old man, throwing lightning bolts and fireballs.  "Do you know who I am?" he says in a thundering voice.  "Yep, I sure do" the man replies meekly.  "And that I can ruin you with a word of a gesture?" he demands.  "Yep, you sure can?" the man calmly replies.  "And cause you an eternity of pain and misery?" the devil shouts. "yep, that's about right" says the old man.  "THEN WHY AREN'T YOU AFRAID OF ME?' the devil says in a terrible voice.  The man merely replies, "Well, for the last thirty five years I've been married to your sister!"
Michael J.

John N Ga

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Joke of the day
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2016, 09:10:23 PM »
An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied. Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr.Smith I thought you told me your penis died". "It did" he replied; "today is the viewing"

Phoenix

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Re: Joke
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2015, 02:31:26 AM »
 :o

Michael j.

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Re: Joke
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2015, 03:25:36 AM »
A new joke:  What is a definition of confusion?  Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.
Michael J.

Phoenix

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Re: Joke
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2015, 05:33:17 PM »
 :o i like that  :-*

Abdfl59

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Re: Joke
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2015, 08:36:40 AM »
Phoenix goes nekkid days!

caveman

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Joke
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2013, 10:21:55 AM »
I know Tuesdays are booby Tuesday & Wensday is hump day. What are the rest of the days?