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Topics - Lancelot Link

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Trip Summaries / Happy Birthday to me!
« on: June 23, 2015, 10:49:44 AM »
Greetings, fellow forum fans!  This is my "report" from my visit to the Mustang Ranch on June 6, 2015.

This was my first trip to a brothel, but I'll spare you all the boring details of how & why I decided to make this trip to celebrate my birthday. Trust me, it's for your own good.  LOL

My theme for this trip was based on the advice that Miles gave Joel in the movie Risky Business: "Sometimes you gotta say 'what the fuck'... make your move."  That's what was the thought in my head when I finally mustered up the nerve to click "purchase" at  LOL  Once you buy the airfare, there's no turning back, right?

I bought airfare on Wednesday morning before my trip on Friday, so I was pretty lucky to get tickets at a little over $500 instead of the average price of $900+ on the regular sites.  Of course, with the low price come some trade-offs.  I would have to drive a couple of hours to an airport that wasn't the closest to me, and I had to make 2 stops.  I left home a little after 9am Central and arrived in Reno at 10am Pacific, which is midnight Central. I usually go to bed around 9pm Central because I go to work early.  So, it was definitely a long day, and "significantly past my bed time" when I arrived in Reno. So, yes... I was TIRED.

One funny thing happened during the flight... I happened to look over at the video screen of the guy next to me, and he was watching... you guessed it... Risky Business.  I didn't have time at that point to start it and finish it, so I knew I had to watch it on the way home.

When I arrived in Reno, Emma had arranged for David to pick me up at the airport.  Thanks, EMMA and DAVID!  When we got to the Ranch, there were 5-6 ladies standing at the gate.  I'm going to tell you that they were there specifically to greet me just because I'm special, which probably isn't remotely true, but I like that story so I'm stickin' to it.

One of the lovely ladies claimed to be Emma, but she looked nothing like I expected... not that I had "expectations" of what she looked like, but if I had had given any thought to the matter, I'd have been very wrong.  LOL So, I just took her word for it because she was holding a walkie-talkie. :-D

I went in, dropped my bag in a chair and ordered a drink.  What seemed like mere moments after I sat down, a certain lovely brunette appeared from my right.  HI, JAYLYNN!! Apparently Jaylynn had decided to hang around after her shift ended after all.  If I recall correctly, her shift ended at 9p, and I got there about 10:30-ish so I didn't really "expect" her to be there, even though Emma had previously told me that she probably would be.

We hung out there and chatted for a while, and at some point I took my bag to my room at the Lodge, freshened up a bit, then returned to the Resort.  Eventually, I remembered Miles' sage advice the next thing I knew I was in the negotiation room with Jaylynn.  BTW... HI, MEL!! :-D

Those of you who have been through the "negotiation process" will probably agree that the first time can be either a bit embarrassing, or funny depending on how you choose to see it.  Luckily I was too tired to be embarrassed, and I got a chuckle out of how surreal certain parts of the process are.  For those of you who haven't been through the process... just remember that everyone goes through it, so relax and enjoy it.

Jaylynn and I negotiated and came to an agreement on "what."  Then... we went to her room and partied, but... you don't get details.  This trip report is free, but details cost extra.  thuppppt :-p  LOL

Afterwards, I hung out in the bar a bit longer, chatting with Jaylynn.  As I was walking out the door, Jaylynn asked if I were staying at the Lodge, and when I said "yes," she started to tell me something but stopped.  I finally convinced her to tell me and she told me about the ghosts.  I was aware of them, but hadn't thought about it at that point. So, when I finally laid down in bed, my ears were trying to hear anything that might sound like a noise that a ghost would make.  LOL

I tried to relax and sleep, but it just wasn't going to happen.  At around 3:30am I got a "happy birthday" text from my mom.  Geez, why is my mom texting me so damn early?  LOL  A few minutes after that, I heard what sounded like pots and pans banging nearby.  OMG, finally I hear the ghosts!  Yay! LOL Of course, Emma later tried to tell me that it was the security guys doing something, but I don't believe that for a second. I know it was Oscar saying "howdy," or "GTFO," I'm not sure which.  ;-)

I laid there a few more hours... still couldn't relax.  So, I got dressed and went searching for food. I couldn't remember if the kitchen was in this building or the Resort, so I just started wandering the halls.  I probably made a couple of laps before remembering that this is basically a circle.  And at that point, I wasn't sure where the main door was.  Fortunately, I found the door and got outside.  LOL

I crossed the lot and went into the Resort to get breakfast.  Nicole was there talking about breakfast, so I persuaded her to join me.  Somehow, I managed to have a moment of clarity and ordered pancakes with bacon and eggs... which meant that I could have "Walter's Birthday Breakfast," or if you like alliteration, like me, it was a "Breaking Bad Birthday Breakfast."  In case you didn't see that series, Walters tradition was that he'd break the bacon and make the numbers of his age on top of the pancakes.  As fate would have it, I was 52 this year, just like Walters final birthday.

Once I had broken and placed the bacon, I realized that I had my phone in my pocket so I just HAD to have a photo of the "BBBB."  My fingers were covered with bacon grease so Nicole was gracious enough to take my phone out of my pocket and snap the photo for me.  THANKS, NICOLE!

Also... a shout out to FREDDY!  Thanks for everything!

After breakfast, I was sitting at the bar talking to Naomi, when again appeared a certain lovely brunette from my right, this time holding cheesecake with a candle in it. Awwwwww... does it get any better than this?  Honestly, as goofy as it probably sounds, that's one of the highlights of the trip for me.

Speaking of the lovely Naomi... will someone please take some photos of her where she's smiling?  The woman has a stunning smile, but none of her current photos show it.  HI, NAOMI! Have you watched any of those movies yet?  LOL

Now that I'm full of breakfast and cheesecake, I figured I'd TRY to take a nap or maybe just lapse into a food coma.  Nope, failure again.

I gave up trying to sleep around lunch time, and went back to the Resort.  Coco joined me for lunch and Kassie was there at some point too.  Morgan was possibly there also, because at some point, I turned to look at the pole and Morgan was hanging upside down, with her feet touching the ceiling. However, given my lack of sleep, I'm not convinced that wasn't a hallucination. I also remember meeting Tara at some point during the day  Hey there Coco, Kassie, Morgan and Tara!

A special lunch-time shout-out to ANTONIO!  Thanks, man!!

I think the 3rd race of the Triple Crown was run that afternoon.  I know I watched it, but wasn't focused on it because of the obvious "feminine distractions" in the room.  :-D

After lunch, I tried agian to take a nap and again failed.  why do I bother?  LOL  I went back to the Resort and chatted with Coco again, and decided I should have a lap dance before her shift was over. So... I did... but no details for you.  :-)

About that time, the birthday cakes arrived.  Not only was it my birthday, but Emma and Trina (HI, TRINA!) were also celebrating their birthdays! What are the odds?  I ate far more cake than I intended, but that was Coco's fault!  heh heh

I hadn't seen Jaylynn for a while, but about this time she showed up. Apparently she had relaxed for a minute to prop up her recently-tweaked ankle, and promptly fell asleep.  LOL  We chatted for a while again, and I decided that I'd "allow" her to "drag" me back to the negotiation room.  Hi again, Mel!!  We negotiated again, and again, you get no details beyond that.  LOL

Afterwards, I chatted with Jaylynn in the bar area for a while.  Then, sadly, I had to go back to my room to gather up my stuff and TRY to take a nap, then... bleh... go home.

I managed to sleep about the last hour just before I was planning to get up. So, technically I did sleep while I was there, but 1 hour didn't do me a bit of good.

Once I was packed, I went back to the bar to say good-bye to anyone I might have spoken to previously.  Tiffany was there and so were Naomi and her smile.  (HI, TIFFANY!) After a few quick good-byes, I went out to the taxi where the incomparable Kenny got me to the airport with plenty of time to spare. (Somebody tell Kenny that I said hello!)  My 30 hours in Reno were over and it was time to return to reality.  *sigh*

Yes, on the flight home, I remembered to watch Risky Business.  LOL  And VERY surprisingly, I had zero travel-related issues on this trip. So, thanks Delta!

In summary, thanks to the great staff at the Mustang Ranch... Emma, David, Mel, Freddy, Antonio, and ALL of the lovely ladies... I had a great birthday, my best ever actually. A very special thanks goes to Jaylynn, for obvious reasons.  8) I hope I didn't miss thanking anyone, but if I did, please let me know!

I learned some valuable lessons and would do some things differently, but I just might do it again next year.  Actually, I promised Emma that I'd sing "Happy Birthday" to her next year, so I guess I'm honor-bound to return, right? :-D

That's all!  Questions?

"How's it Hangin" / Someone FINALLY has photos up...
« on: June 03, 2015, 12:21:31 AM »
... and I approve.   8)


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