Joke

[Phoenix]

   thats funny firefighter

[firefighter]

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up." ~ Joan Rivers

[bucky badger]

q: Why is Santa so jolly?
a: He knows where all the naughty girls live!
q:Why dont santa and mrs clause have kids?
a:santa only comes once a year

What did the blonde say after sex?
   are you guys all on the same team?

What does a blonde wear around her neck to look sexy?
     her ankles!

[caveman]

Santa is so jolly because he knows he's going to pop his cork. He knows the naughty girls will give him a good lick,suck, & ride him cowgirl good time. They don't have kids because first time they did it. santa  had so much pressure he ruin mrs clause babby maker. Not to mention all the white stuff every where. He blew her across the room. That's why in there marriage agreement they have the mrs clause.

[firefighter]

"Why should we take advice on sex from the Pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!" ~ George Bernard Shaw

[Ayana]

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up." ~ Joan Rivers

That's how I'm feeling right now . I need my brothel virginity taken it's Been damn to long!

[caveman]

I know who gets tied up me!!!!!

[Cobia]

"It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up." ~ Joan Rivers

That's how I'm feeling right now . I need my brothel virginity taken it's Been damn to long!

I will see ya the last week of Feb. Ayana.

[firefighter]

The Dirty Spoon
A man entered a restaurant and sat at an open cleaned table. As he sat down, he knocked a spoon off the table. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, ever since an efficiency expert visited our restaurant... He determined that considerable numbers of our customers knock a spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, all male waiters do. It seems that the same efficiency expert determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to relieve myself, I simply pull the string, urinate, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. It saves a lot of time."

"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other male waiters, but I use one of the spoons in my pocket."

[caveman]

I like that.

[Phoenix]

 Nooooo ah hah ha ha that's terrible

[firefighter]

"Show me a man who doesn't eat his woman's pussy and I'll show you a man's woman I can steal!" ~ Confucius

[caveman]

here's one I told before that heard on radio. Man goes in dinner in a small town & orders soup. He's eating the soup & finds a hair in it. He gets all pissed off & starts yelling there's a hair in my soup I'm not paying. The lady that ran & ownes the dinner. Appoligized to him & kept telling him how sorry she was that happen. The man left & she noticed he walked across the street to the brothel. Now she is getting mad so she goes to the brothel. She ask the lady running the brothel where he is. The lady says up stairs. She goes up there throws open the door & sees the man face & elbow deep in the lady. She starts yelling at the man. You complained about my soup having a hair in it & look at you now you have a mouth full of hair. You wouldn't pay for my soup. She's going on & on. The man finally stops & turns & says to the lady from the dinner. That's right I won't pay you for your soup with a hair in it & if I find a noddle in her I'm not paying for her either!!

[Cobia]

 

[firefighter]

Two Ironies to share (an irony being a humorous comparison):

Irony 1.
We are told NOT to judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics."
BUT, on the other hand, "We are encouraged TO judge ALL Gun Owners and NRA Members by the actions of a few lunatics."
How is that supposed to be logical thinking?

Irony 2.
The Food Stamp Program, administered by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, is proud to be distributing this year the greatest amount of free Meals and Food Stamps ever to 47.5 million people (most recent figures available April 2013).
Meanwhile, the National Park Service, administered by the U.S. Dept. of the Interior, tells us "Please Do Not Feed the Animals." One of their stated reasons for the policy is because "the animals will grow dependent on handouts and will not learn to take care of themselves."
I'm confused at their apparent contradictory logic.
http://www.nps.gov/grca/naturescience/wildlife_alert.htm

Thus ends today's two lessons in irony.