Let me add to my previous post
First off. Some sub approaches do not work for me. For example when a guy says he is a sub and will pleasure me all day on his knees going down on me I don't see that as submission. That is a guy that likes to eat pussy and really just needs to say they want to go down on me without reciprocation. It's really about their sexual desire and love of cunnilingus. I don't need a sub for that. You cannot give me any more pleasure than I am willing to receive. Think about that.
Now back to the subject of D/s.
There are different levels of domination and no two subs there are the same, humans are complex and the D/s relationship is more that barking names and whipping people. There is a huge difference between men and women subs. While guys tend to give up control and power and the majority are into pegging, verbal humiliation, financial, sissy, women tend to be more emotional. Some subs are totally into domestication. They will clean your house and mow your lawn and they feel totally happy about being given tasks would never ask for sex. There are so many types of subs and there are many types of Dommes.
I'm definitely more dominant and there is an element of sexual gratification for me I think. It doesn't mean sex, it just means I might be a little bit sadist when I'm in that mode but a good Domme always has to take her time for aftercare. That's her way to say thank you to the sub for trusting her and opening up emotionally and physically. Is a bonding time when you talk about feelings regarding the session.
Even though some subs are enjoying the session and are hyped up, when it is done they may have an emotional drop, may be embarrassed, or even depressed and are in need of reassurance . After care can be just cuddling, putting their head in your lap and discussing while you caress them. As a Domme it is easy to cause emotional damage if you treat another human as trash the entire time.
When someone says, "I am totally open and you can do anything you want", I know that they don't really mean that. They just don't know how to vocalize their needs or believe I should know (which of course all you guys know as, she thinks I can read her mind Lol. Not all Dommes and subs are a match. You have to think about ideas of what you want to explore and a Domme should be honest if it interests her. It's symbiotic.
