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#21
Way Off Topic / my annual Christmas joke
Last post by SuitcaseLXIX - Dec 05, 2025, 08:43 PMa little long, but, IMHO, worth it...
It's mid December, and the mailman is making his rounds. He comes to an old Craftsman-style home where he must climb several steps to the porch in order to slip the mail through the slot. As he is depositing the mail, the front door opens, and there stands the lady of the house, very attractive and wearing nothing but a very sheer negligeé
Without uttering a word, she extends her hand, takes the mailman's hand in hers, leads him inside, closes the door behind them and proceeds to escort him to the dining room. The table is immaculate... fancy linen tablecloth and matching napkins, lit candles, fine china, crystal, and flatware. Still without a single word being spoken, she directs him to the head of the table and pulls out the chair to seat him. She then proceeds to serve him a gourmet breakfast... complete with fresh squeezed orange juice, eggs Benedict and home fried potatoes, a homemade sweet roll, gourmet coffee, all exquisite... he finishes the marvelous meal, still with nary a word being exchanged
She again extends her hand, takes his, and ushers him upstairs to the bedroom, still with not a word being spoken. Her negligeé is instantly on the floor followed in a heartbeat by his uniform, they climb onto the bed and proceed to engage in a love-making marathon of unbridled passion and unequaled intimacy. Eventually, again without speaking, they arise, get dressed, and she leads him back downstairs to the entrance hall.
She opens the front door, but as he is about to leave, she breaks the silence for the very first time... "Wait! Don't leave yet!" she shrieks, and she scurries off into another room. She returns immediately with her purse, opens it, removes her wallet, opens it, removes a $1 bill and hands it to him
Now he speaks for the first time...
"Breakfast was wonderful, 'dessert' was even better... but the dollar? Meh. He continues..."but this whole thing has me extremely confused. Please, tell me, what the hell is going on here?"
She replies...
"well, a couple of nights ago, my husband and I were sitting around discussing what to give various people as Christmas gifts."
"I asked him 'what should we give the mailman?' "
"He answered me by saying 'The mailman? Fuck him! Give him a buck!' "
Then she gleefully adds "Breakfast was MY idea!"
It's mid December, and the mailman is making his rounds. He comes to an old Craftsman-style home where he must climb several steps to the porch in order to slip the mail through the slot. As he is depositing the mail, the front door opens, and there stands the lady of the house, very attractive and wearing nothing but a very sheer negligeé
Without uttering a word, she extends her hand, takes the mailman's hand in hers, leads him inside, closes the door behind them and proceeds to escort him to the dining room. The table is immaculate... fancy linen tablecloth and matching napkins, lit candles, fine china, crystal, and flatware. Still without a single word being spoken, she directs him to the head of the table and pulls out the chair to seat him. She then proceeds to serve him a gourmet breakfast... complete with fresh squeezed orange juice, eggs Benedict and home fried potatoes, a homemade sweet roll, gourmet coffee, all exquisite... he finishes the marvelous meal, still with nary a word being exchanged
She again extends her hand, takes his, and ushers him upstairs to the bedroom, still with not a word being spoken. Her negligeé is instantly on the floor followed in a heartbeat by his uniform, they climb onto the bed and proceed to engage in a love-making marathon of unbridled passion and unequaled intimacy. Eventually, again without speaking, they arise, get dressed, and she leads him back downstairs to the entrance hall.
She opens the front door, but as he is about to leave, she breaks the silence for the very first time... "Wait! Don't leave yet!" she shrieks, and she scurries off into another room. She returns immediately with her purse, opens it, removes her wallet, opens it, removes a $1 bill and hands it to him
Now he speaks for the first time...
"Breakfast was wonderful, 'dessert' was even better... but the dollar? Meh. He continues..."but this whole thing has me extremely confused. Please, tell me, what the hell is going on here?"
She replies...
"well, a couple of nights ago, my husband and I were sitting around discussing what to give various people as Christmas gifts."
"I asked him 'what should we give the mailman?' "
"He answered me by saying 'The mailman? Fuck him! Give him a buck!' "
Then she gleefully adds "Breakfast was MY idea!"
#22
Lineup / Mustang Ranch Weekly Lineup th...
Last post by World Famous Mustang Ranch - Dec 05, 2025, 03:39 AMAlexa 9A-9P
Ava 9A-9P
Ayana 10A-10P
Hazel June 9A-9P
Isabella 9A-9P
Ivory Nyx 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kristina Marie 9A-9P
Laney 9A-9P
Nola Blu 9A-9P
Rachel Varga 9A-9P
Stevie 9A-9P
Stormy May 9A-9P
Bailey Rose 5P-5A
Harley 11A-11P
Leah 12P-12A
April 9P-9A
Bambi 9P-9A
Gigi 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Lila 9A-9P
Nara 6P-6A
Precious 9P-9A
Randi 9P-9A
Sapphire 9P-9A
Saylor 6P-6A
Sokyo 9P-9A
Ava 9A-9P
Ayana 10A-10P
Hazel June 9A-9P
Isabella 9A-9P
Ivory Nyx 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kristina Marie 9A-9P
Laney 9A-9P
Nola Blu 9A-9P
Rachel Varga 9A-9P
Stevie 9A-9P
Stormy May 9A-9P
Bailey Rose 5P-5A
Harley 11A-11P
Leah 12P-12A
April 9P-9A
Bambi 9P-9A
Gigi 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Lila 9A-9P
Nara 6P-6A
Precious 9P-9A
Randi 9P-9A
Sapphire 9P-9A
Saylor 6P-6A
Sokyo 9P-9A
#23
General Discussion / Re: IT'S GONNA BE HOT!! POOL...
Last post by SixT9er - Dec 05, 2025, 02:42 AMQuote from: Salrobert on Dec 05, 2025, 02:03 AMDoes anyone know when Ana Lay might be back? I've been wanting another party with her.According to her IG 12/10 - 12/17
#24
General Discussion / Re: IT'S GONNA BE HOT!! POOL...
Last post by Salrobert - Dec 05, 2025, 02:03 AMDoes anyone know when Ana Lay might be back? I've been wanting another party with her.
#25
Lineup / Mustang Ranch Weekly Lineup th...
Last post by World Famous Mustang Ranch - Nov 27, 2025, 03:19 AMAlyssa 9A-9P
Ayana 10A-10P
Barbie Dahl 9A-9P
Caroline Peach 9A-9P
Hazel June 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kitty Kawasaki 9A-9P
Lila 9A-9P
Penny 9A-9P
Rosalia 9A-9P
Rosie 9A-9P
Victoria 9A-9P
Lucy 2P-2A
Delilah 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Isabella 9P-9A
Marley 9P-9A
Mona 9P-9A
Precious 9P-9A
Sapphire 9A-9P
Saylor 6P-6A
Sokyo 9P-9A
Wednesday 9P-9A
Ayana 10A-10P
Barbie Dahl 9A-9P
Caroline Peach 9A-9P
Hazel June 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kitty Kawasaki 9A-9P
Lila 9A-9P
Penny 9A-9P
Rosalia 9A-9P
Rosie 9A-9P
Victoria 9A-9P
Lucy 2P-2A
Delilah 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Isabella 9P-9A
Marley 9P-9A
Mona 9P-9A
Precious 9P-9A
Sapphire 9A-9P
Saylor 6P-6A
Sokyo 9P-9A
Wednesday 9P-9A
#26
General Discussion / Re: LPIN 2025 Awards Voter Reg...
Last post by firefighter - Nov 26, 2025, 03:21 PMLPIN 2025 Awards Voter Registration runs 12/01/2025 thru 12/31/2025.
#27
Mustang Ranch Resort Experience Review / Alyssa
Last post by SixT9er - Nov 24, 2025, 11:32 PMGot to visit with the Sexy Alyssa last night. Our paths haven't crossed lately as she's been booked or I had appointments but it was great catching up with her & reminded me why I like her so much! I'm hoping to see her again soon & if you get the opportunity see the sweet sexy Lady don't pass it up as she's not on a fixed schedule so get her when you can!
Looking forward to the time we get together again!
Looking forward to the time we get together again!
#28
Way Off Topic / new joke November 21st
Last post by SuitcaseLXIX - Nov 22, 2025, 12:56 AMI was on a date with a girl who said she loves coconuts, so I covered my balls with chocolate sauce
#29
Lineup / Mustang Ranch Weekly Lineup th...
Last post by World Famous Mustang Ranch - Nov 20, 2025, 10:38 PMAlessandra 9A-9P
Alyssa 9A-9P
Aria Rose 9A-9P
Ayana 10A-10P
Camilla Jade 9A-9P
Cindy 9A-9P
Gabriella 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kitty Kawasaki 9A-9P
Layla 9A-9P
Lila 9A-9P
Maya 9A-9P
Rosalia 9A-9P
Victoria 9A-9P
Olivia Lush 12P-10P
Ginger 3P-3A
Lucy 2P-2A
Reagan Rhoades 3P-3A
Samantha 5P-5A
Sierra 5P-5A
Delilah 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Lisette 9P-9A
Mona 9P-9A
Nara 9P-9A
Saylor 6P-6A
Stevie 9P-9A
Alyssa 9A-9P
Aria Rose 9A-9P
Ayana 10A-10P
Camilla Jade 9A-9P
Cindy 9A-9P
Gabriella 9A-9P
Juno 9A-9P
Kitty Kawasaki 9A-9P
Layla 9A-9P
Lila 9A-9P
Maya 9A-9P
Rosalia 9A-9P
Victoria 9A-9P
Olivia Lush 12P-10P
Ginger 3P-3A
Lucy 2P-2A
Reagan Rhoades 3P-3A
Samantha 5P-5A
Sierra 5P-5A
Delilah 9P-9A
Holly 9P-9A
Lisette 9P-9A
Mona 9P-9A
Nara 9P-9A
Saylor 6P-6A
Stevie 9P-9A
#30
"How's it Hangin" / New Ayana pics!!!
Last post by pearl pleaser - Nov 20, 2025, 10:05 PMAyana is not only one of the most sublimely sensual women you will ever meet, but you will return time and again - like that old disco song says - wanting "More, More, More!" 